Sometimes, it feels like you've had the world's longest pregnancy, and sometimes it feels like you blink and you're already 25 weeks along.
This has certainly felt like the strangest time to be pregnant, and lately, I've been feeling a lot of anxiety about how much of it has passed by already.
In addition to working from home and navigating life with a toddler, I spent half of the summer waiting to reach that first trimester milestone. Especially before that first doctor visit, it felt like just sitting on my hands and waiting.
Once we made it past 13 weeks, I thought I would breathe easier...and then I still did not. There were so many things making our "normal" life even less normal, and there were a lot of things taking my attention away from enjoying my pregnancy. These hormones are definitely no joke, along with home projects, busy work lives, etc.
Once we made it to the 20 week anatomy scan, I finally felt like I could relax a little more, although even in these past few weeks, I have realized I don't think I have actually stopped to simply enjoy this period of life, this pregnancy.
This is my last pregnancy, and I certainly WANT to remember all of the good things about it, separate from all of the craziness happening around us. But it's been a real struggle.
The other day, I was sitting and thinking about that struggle (and feeling extremely guilty about it) when I felt the baby moving and kicking. It was like she was reminding me to just take a step back and be more present and grateful.
Baby girl,
I am so grateful for you. I love feeling you kick and move around. I'm happy you're safe where you are, and I look forward to the day we can hold you in our arms. (During our 20-week ultrasound, when the doctor showed us a 3D image of her face, I immediately said, "Oh I cannot wait to snuggle you!")
I can't wait to choose what your name will be. I know the right name will come to us, and we'll know it's meant for you.
I'm so curious about who you will resemble. Will you look like Ariana at all? Will you have as much hair as she did?
I'm curious how your personality will shape up and in which ways you'll be the same or different from Ariana.
I'm excited for Ariana to meet you. She's been practicing these past few months, and is so sweet to her dolls - helping to feed them, brush their teeth and put them down for naps.
I'm excited for you to meet your big sister. She's just incredible. I have one brother and my husband has two brothers, so getting to have a firsthand look at this sister bond is extremely special to me.
I'm looking forward to all of the snuggles and special newborn moments. I'm ready to use my Solly baby wrap a lot more this time around!
I haven't exercised as much during this pregnancy like I did last time, but I plan to get on some sort of routine in these final few months. With busy schedules, I realized recently that prioritizing exercise is most important for my mental health, but it's also time dedicated to just me and you. In a way, these are our first Mom and Baby Sis dates. Let's go swimming and do some yoga together!
Please keep sending me your sweet reminders to slow down and stop worrying so much. You are certainly a reminder that things fall into place as they are meant to be.
We are all excited for you to join and complete our family, sweet baby girl.
Love,
Mama
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